if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
