I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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