I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm having to shit out rocks
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
