Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
