i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
