Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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