So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
