Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
