this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
