just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
