did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
