i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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