so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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