she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
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Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
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you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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