There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
