jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
