Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
