His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
