Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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