You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
