She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
