I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
