Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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