Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
