haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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