"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
My bed smells like the plague
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
