Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
