It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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