TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Operation Purity has been aborted
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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