My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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