Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
