i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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