totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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