I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
