Your mouth is God's brothel.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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