All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
