My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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