so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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