if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
