..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
