So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We are all done wearing pants today
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize