Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
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You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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