have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
