i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
