My brain says no but my pants say off.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
