so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
