i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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