He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
