Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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