I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
