Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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