my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
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At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
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Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.