we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina