yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize