idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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