is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
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Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
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I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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