I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
