Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
