Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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