..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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