wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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