I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I met the friendliest cop last night
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I take back everything I said about communal showers
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
