I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
