Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize