What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
