so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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