I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
